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Memoirs of A Traveller

By:
Nwanze Ngozi Lilian




I had thought that I had lost my muss until I embarked on my return trip to Port Harcourt from Abuja (My 2 week holiday in Abuja was simply lovely and would form reading for another day.)
 
I took off from Abuja at exactly 7.00am on Monday and as I write this at 7.00am on Tuesday, I still have not reached Port Harcourt.  The journey went very smoothly up to a point.  We stopped to eat at a suspicious spot at Lokoja.  I didn’t eat but I did use the toilet and was made to pay ten Nigerian Naira for maintenance since I was only peeing (if I was doing No.2, I would have paid twenty!).  I kind of found that very funny but I did not mind!  If I needed to pay ten Naira to use a clean toilet, so be it!
 
Anyway, we stopped again at Ughelli at a less suspicious place, had another meal (again I just used the toilet while others ate).  We were lighter and happier as we were only 2 hours from home (or so we thought).
 
In between Ughelli and Patani ( a distance of only 15kms) we ran into this mad hold up and we remained at a stand still for 4 hours between 3pm and 7pm. Along the line, we begged the driver to turn around and head back to Warri as we heard that robbers had taken  advantage of the situation and had started robbing from the front.  The driver not only ignored us but got his fellow drivers to pass funny comments about carrying majority of a specific gender in their cars (we were 7ladies and only 1 man in our vehicle…) I finally got tired of the talk and called the Managing Director of the transport line. His number was boldly displayed on the windscreen of the car – I immediately became the most hated passenger in the entire hold up!  The rest of that will form the write up for yet another day.
 
 We eventually moved by 7pm and began heading for home.   Port Harcourt has a curfew for 9pm and Ughelli is 2hours to Port Harcourt – you do the maths and please give room for exigencies like internal hold up and pot holes on the roads to Rivers State!
I had to call up a friend to pick me up from Mbiama so I could sleep in his place in Yenegoa, Bayelsa State in order to beat the curfew in Port Harcourt.
 


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By the way, this hold up was caused by a really tiny bad spot on the road between two of Nigerias’ richest states!
 
While in that hold up, I realized a number of things.
 
I realized an ingenuity and never say die attitude of our people.
Women immediately whipped out frying pans and started frying yams, meat and other edibles for motorists to buy.  Young boys began marketing call cards and even offering commercial phone services for motorists who wanted to make emergency arrangements with family members.  The hold up spot became immediately a beehive of business activity.
 
Nigerians are hard working.  Very hardworking people and I was proud of those who made good use of the opportunity – as they say in our special pidgin English, make all no for loss!
 
I also discovered that Nigerians could be very impatient people.  Motorists will drive carelessly and obstruct the lanes of upcoming vehicles or vehicles going the opposite direction.  Of course this caused more of a jam and prolonged the amount of time everyone stayed on the road.
 
I discovered too that Nigerians obey the whip and the whip alone!
Some motorists had tried to stop erring drivers from obstructing the opposite lanes.  They earned themselves insults and curses and in some cases, beatings (it was really a crazy scene!)
With the arrival of the Mobile Police van at 6.45pm, amidst a lot of flogging and breaking of side mirrors, we were able to move out of our 3hour spot in only 15minutes.
 
During our three hours stay, I realized that some Nigerian men have still not gotten the picture that the African woman is no longer a cooking-cleaning-childbearing slave.


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